Is your child old enough for a puppy?

I was driving through a neighboring town the other day, taking my time through the quaint but bustling center, when my eye caught this sight:  A young mother - she was 26, tops, but I think she was more like 23 - pushing a stroller with a baby less than a year old seated in it.  She was using both hands to push the stroller but one hand also held a flexi-lead (don't even get me started on those contraptions), which was attached to a rambunctious Boxer puppy.   The pup was doing everything in his power to wrap that woman and her stroller in the unforgiving metal line of the flexi, which caused the woman to trip repeatedly and the stroller to tilt dangerously toward the street.  She would stop, unwind herself and her stroller, reign in her puppy, check her baby, and then start again only to repeat this process three steps later.

I smiled and I cringed.  Why would this young mother subject herself to raising a puppy and an infant at the same time?  Why would she want to subject herself to that?

I've got an idea or two.

It's a very romantic notion to get a puppy when your child is still so young.  After all, some think, shouldn't a child grow up with a puppy?  Wouldn't it be great for the two of them to grow and mature together?

In a word, no.

I'm frequently asked by would-be pet owners "When is the best time to get a puppy?" and "Are my children old enough?".  Dog Trainer and author Brian Kilcommons and Sarah Wilson recommend In their book Childproofing Your Dog:

"The best time to get a dog is after your child is age four, maybe even five if you want to raise a puppy. Younger children do not have the mental understanding or physical ability to be consistently gentle. If you have younger children and a dog, read the relevant sections and SUPERVISE! People sometimes want to get a new puppy when the child is an infant on the theory that they'll grow up together. Save yourself the stress and exhaustion—one baby at a time please!"

Based on my experience with dog owners I agree wholeheartedly - and why wouldn't I agree with an expert(??) - Kilcommons and Wilson know what they're talking about.  At four a child has the capacity to follow instructions, such as "Please stop pulling on the puppy's tail" and "Don't poke the puppy in the eye with that stick".  And they can help out with simple tasks like grooming and feeding the puppy.  Getting your children involved in caring for a puppy at that age will set your whole family up for easier times in the future.

I think back to the days when my daughter was a colicky newborn, and then a very needy infant, and now a demanding toddler.  I cannot even fathom training a puppy during any of these phases of her life, never mind exercising and socializing a puppy the way he or she would deserve and require.   I think the combination of the two, an infant and a pup, would have driven me off the deep end for sure.  And my daughter is not the exception to the norm.  I've got news for parents-to-be, with exception for the colic she is the norm.  Very young children are very demanding and so are very young puppies.

Puppies, much like babies, require supervision.  Lots and lots of supervision.  They also require, as I mentioned above, training and socialization.  When your toddler is climbing the bookcase at the same time that your puppy is jumping on the counter to steal your family's dinner, which one would you attend to first?

So, mothers and fathers of infants and toddlers, take my advice and do yourself a favor:  wait until your children are a bit older before you get that puppy.  Your children and your would-be dog will benefit from your patience - as will you.  You can thank me later.

 

Comments

[Julie Pippert]

That's a good point. Our dog was a little over a year when we had our first. It's a long story how it all worked out, but that was the situation. Knowing we would have a baby and young dog, we went to extra training and had a special training session about bringing home a baby with the dog. That was useful.

And we made sure he had a doggie activity every day, too.

I confess: we used a doggie day care.

I still miss that place.

[AuthorMomWithDogs]

I'm sure there'd be far fewer dogs in rescue and shelters if parents didn't get puppies with kids under the age of five.

[jan]

Excellent advice. So many of those dogs bought for baby companions end up in shelters.

However if I may say a word for dogs who are socialized and part of the family when the baby comes. They can be taught to welcome the new baby and be an enriching part of the baby's and the family life.

[crunchy]

I was glad we didn't get callie when she was teeny...4 months was bad enough!

But with the kids at 2.5 and 4.5 it wasn't too bad to 'train' the kids about respect and get Cal used to the kids...she is verrrry tolerant.

Caity does tea parties with her and plays doctor with her too!

[Mommy off the Record]

Great post. We got our dog three years before we had our son, but I wish we had waited. (Like, waited forever. j/k) But seriously, I think waiting until a child is at least 4 is a great idea - and for us, that would have meant waiting probably 10 years since we plan to have 2 or 3 kids. Hindsight!!

[dog strollers]

good point! thanks for posting this, it is very informative and i learned a lot from it.

-andrei
http://www.dogstrollers-4less.com

[Rebecca]

Hello, I just stumbled upon your blog and appreciated what you had to say about raising a puppy and baby at same time. I do have a 13 year old who is insisting this is a good time to add a puppy to our family with a 8 month old child. Can you address that issue from her perspective with a gentle reminder of the huge obligation it takes to raise a puppy. We also have a 8 year old beagle. Any added words of wisdom would be so much appreciated. As you can tell, any added support to my argument that getting a puppy now is not a good idea.


God bless you, Rebecca Colucci

[Roxanne]

My husband and I had 2 dogs before we had our 1st born son. My 3 yr old cocker Spaniel stayed well away from him... her choice... and our 2 yr old border collie would lay next to him... her choice..

As my son grew the border collie would let my son crawl on her, take her toys and simply be around her. My cocker spaniel chose to stay away .
We've never had a biting incident from either dog in regards to our children. WE always supervise the dogs and the children.

My oldest is now 2 1/2 yrs old and my youngest is 7 months. WE are considering getting another dog in January when my youngest is a yr.

WE know well the patience and attention to detail it takes.
In response you your comment about the child climbing the bookcase and the dog getting your dinner...
well teach the child it is never ok to climb the bookcase, baby and puppy proof your house, don't feed the puppy table food and have a fenced in back yard to facilitate puppy potty training and alot of the stress is taken away...
It is all in how you approach the situation.

Although getting a puppy while having an infant or young toddler should never be done on a whim. Parents need to consider all the angles and be prepared forthe unexpected. Being informed is a necessity. Also having help....

Many people have more than one baby at a time or have babies within 12 months of each other and survive. People can surely survive having a toddler and a puppy...
It just takes patience and discipline.

Also how do you look at a dog... as an obligation or a part of the family? As a complication to your family plans or something easily remedied with a bit of planning?
Plan, be informed, don't get a puppy on a whim, research the breed, shop around, consult others,but you don't have to wait for yrs.

Have a nice day, thank you for the blog article